Parking Angel Island
by backpack bootswiper map
Summary: Who remembers parking? I remember parking.


So the first thing is that I forgot how to parallel park. The thing is there are many steps and for most people they take some kind of driving test, and the steps are rehearsed and they maybe remember them, and you just go find a parking garage in the city because the first rule of parallel parking is to avoid it at all costs.

Well, the thing is, is that I own an island. Well, I guard an island, so the thing is that I wanted to stop by Station Square off the coast of Normerica. I wanted to maybe grab a drink for once or maybe talk to someone besides the Master Emerald. The thing is that the bay jetting out of Station Square is a decent enough circle to park Angel Island into it. Well if I want to get close to the coast, where I don't have to swim towards the beach or glide and then eventually swim. I don't think anyone besides me had the pleasure of knowing you could move the island around by laying on top of the Master Emerald. See, no one before me did that, or had the sense to tell anyone. I fell asleep listening to the damn thing whisper "emerald glows" and woke up in some section of the ocean. I was glad enough I didn't crash into some area full of people. Echidnas are already responsible for one crater on Mobius and I didn't want to be held responsible for the next one. I get called Knucklehead enough as it is.

So I started by sitting on the Master Emerald and letting my legs hang off a touch. Left leg was for positioning, right leg for acceleration. I tapped to my right to shift in and out of reverse or forward. My left maneuvered up and down. The highest point on the island too, so I could barely see the edges of the Station Square's glittering lights. I dreamed of a gin and tonic. It was summertime or I wanted to pretend it was.

I started inching down and forward towards the breakers that lined up my descent.

I got a phone call from Charmy the Bee. Phone buzzing, I jumped down from the Emerald which luckily stopped the whole process, it wasn't much like a car. I knew better to island drive and text or talk.

"Hey, what?"

"Knuckles! It's Charmy! How you doing, man? It's been ages!"

"It's sorta of been like three days. I am trying to get to Station Square, I don't have much time to talk."

The bee sneezed. "You listen to that HoneyCrest album I sent you? It's the best in BeeBop Progcore ever."

There was a moment where I remembered using Charmy as an action figure for my problems.

"Uh, no. I don't have a data plan up here. I can only get a chance when I go to Station Square."

"You going to Station Square anytime soon? I'd love to hang out with you!"

The silence sort of manifested.

"Can I call you back? I got Julie-Su texting me about where I am."

"Oh yeah! Of course! Hit me back up when you want to!"

"Ok, see ya later."

"Okay, buh-bye!"

I ended the phone call and hopped back atop the Master Emerald. I bought a cell phone because it's just easier with how weird Mobius is. If they could call me, I could help them out. Problem was, it led to a lot of dumb nights talking to people and maybe some sloshed phone dials while Angel Island floated into the sky.

The whole thing started going down into the bay, and the smell of salt water, and dried seaweed started wafting up. I could taste the alcohol and some hedgehog not named Sonic who liked talking about sports and specifically mixed martial arts and who might win the next title, and maybe there would have been conversation about boxing too, or some stupid shit about being alone. I could have gone from headlocks to loneliness. They're the same thing if you get held long enough.

So my phone goes off again.

This time it's Sonic.

"Yeah."

"Knux?"

"Yeah?"

"Look, I got this problem with Tails."

I sniffled and cleared my throat. "Again? What is it?"

"He keeps making gay jokes to me and it kind of just weirds me out. Like he wants to do it. Maybe with me?"

"How old is he now?"

"Nineteen."

"Well he's just on the edge of being a teenager. He wants to feel alive and is worried he's getting up there in age or some shit. You know, pearls into the swine."

"What?"

"He's losing control and wants to feel it between his legs. Just indulge him or something, or hook him up with someone."

"Knux, where do you come with this stuff, I mean-"

"Just ask the Master Emerald."

"Oh my god."

"Loooookkkkk...I need to park the island, and I am about to hit landfall, so unless you want to grab a drink with me right now, we can keep talking about this, but uh otherwise..."

"Nah, thanks for the invite, but I am beat today. I ran 400 miles. I need to rest and not drink like a damn fish."

"Next time'll be fine. Talk to you later."

"Bye Knux."

Sonic was not a dad, but Tails was definitely a kid in some kind of transition. Went from working on machines to becoming one and Sonic was worried about that as an older surrogate brother should be. Probably envisioned Tails being some kind of hero to save us all, not his fox lover. Well, maybe someone's fox lover, two-tailed fox lover at that.

So I had already broke my rule about driving and using the phone, but I was getting closer. The first thing I noticed about Station Square was the lack of people who actually liked the beach. This wasn't my first time parking the island out here, but it was close to midnight and minus the few bonfires I could see down the line. I didn't mind.

I was lining up my island to make breaker behind me disappear I could barely see it, but luckily my vision was better than humans at seeing at night so I could just make it out.

Another phone call and it's Tails.

I had this moment of letting it go to voicemail, but Tails never called me because well, we're never around each other and never talk. We were acquaintances. I had a feeling of what it was about.

"Hello."

"Knuckles what the fuck did you say to Sonic?"

Again I summoned silence. It worked better on everyone than they liked to imagine.

"Hey Tails."

"Don't give me that bullshit. Sonic said I need to find a man. I'm not gay man. I'm not fucking gay."

"Fucking hell."

"Yeah! He thinks I like plugging up my ass up and down on a huge sweaty cock!"

"That's really specific."

I heard Tails breaking something in his house. Probably a coffee mug. It was a classic choice if it was that.

"Fuck you Knuckles."

"Look, you wanna come down to Station Square and-"

The scraping that echoed through the back mountains behind Station Square screeched, and then came the almost perfect noise of people and Mobians screaming. Like some kind of dumb drama.

"Tails let me call you back."

"Don't you fucking hang up on me y-"

I had hit the coast badly. I knew I had crushed the bait shop, and maybe a few trash cans. Did anyone fish in the bay? I thought that was a dumb idea, so.

I decided that drinking was out of the question.

Put the Master Emerald in front island drive and headed back into the sky. I mean, everyone knew I fucked up, but hey, sometimes you answer the phone when you hate phones. I like to just say that.


End file.
